My Shiny Metal Immortal
by TheAnnoyingAlien
Summary: A Futurama parody of the infamous worst fanfiction of all time, a Harry Potter fanfic titled "My Immortal". Cobalt the smexy fembot vampire goff lady has sexy goffik robot vampire misadvunturez at Plnaet Expreshh all while continyuing her sexy romance wif Bender omg lolz!1!1! (This isn't how I actually write, I'm writing like that for the sake of the fic)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Guys, let me just tell you right now that this is not how I normally write. In fact I didn't really write this at all, i'm just taking the crappiest fanfiction of all time and changing names around, editing it to fit in with Futurama, etc. in a shitty attempt at making an equally shitty parody of it to amuse myself and waste my time. This is a Futurama parody of My Immortal, which was an unbelievably awful Harry Potter fanfiction by some dumbass named Tara Gilesbie. If you want to read the original just search up My Immortal and you should find it somewhere. It's floating around all over the internet. Also Cobalt Zinc isn't a serious character of mine, in fact this fic parody and any artwork I make that's related to it will probably be the only things containing her since I merely created her to be an annoying Mary Sue for this fic. The rating might go up later on when the bad sex scenes arrive. Parodies of Tara Gilesbie's author notes will also be in here. These will be written as **AN:** and my real author's notes will be written as Author's Note: and be in bold text like the one you're currently reading. I just thought I should tell you so you don't get confused. Anyway, I hope this parody makes you laugh at the bad grammar, gothicness, fail sex scenes, and the intentionally mary sueish fancharacter! **

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) Leela, cyclopstearz111 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Richurd nicxon's head ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Chapter 1.

Hi my name is Cobalt P'latinum Magnesia Golden Zinc and I have cobalt blue hair (that's how I got my name) with platinum streaks and golden tips that reaches my shoulders and harlequin green eyes like brain slugs and a lot of people tell me I look like Monique (AN: if u don't know who she is get da robot hell out of here!). I'm not related to Calculon but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a robot vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale silver skin. I'm also a bending unit, and I work at a sexy delivery company called Planet Express in New New York where I've been working for seven years (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with blue lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, blue fishnets and black beatle boots. I was wearing black lipstick, silver foundation, black eyeliner and blue eye shadow. I was walking outside Planet Express. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of meatbags stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Cobalt!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Bender Bending Rodriguez!

"What's up Bender?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my human friends Leela and Amy call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 cyclopstearz111 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW meatbags stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some beer from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was cobalt blue velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a robotology symbol necklace, beatle boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings even though i dont have ears since im a robot, and somehow put my hair in a kind of messy bun even though its made of metal.

My friend, Leela (AN: cyclopstearz111 dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long purple hair and opened her limpid tear blue eye. She put on her white tank top with black stretch pants, her bracelet thingy she wears on her wrist and pilot boots. We put on our makeup (she put on pink lipstick and mascara and i put on silver foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Bender yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Bender?" she asked as we went out of her apartment and walked to the tube thingy that takes us to Planet Express.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Bender walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in New New Jersey." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY MEATBAGS OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN LEELA! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped blue fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair somehow again even though its metal and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding oil and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some of Amy's blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Bender was waiting there in front of the Planet Express ship. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), a pimp hat, pimp jacket, and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl manbotz wer it ok!).

"Hi Bender!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Cobalt." he said back. We walked into the Planet Express ship (he borrowed it while Profezzor Fahrnsworf waz sleeping) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigars and drank beer. When we got there, we both hopped out of the ship. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte's heads in jars.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel's head is so fucking hot." I said to Bender, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Bender looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Bender sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff's head. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde meatbag face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Bender. After the concert, we drank some more beer and asked Benji and Joel's heads for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Bender and I crawled back into the Planet Express ship, but Bender didn't go back into New New York, instead he drove the ship into… Robot Hell!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok cobalt's name is CBOALT nut mary su OK! BENDER IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"BENDER!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Bender didn't answer but he stopped the planet express ship and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking robot hell?" I asked angrily.

"Cobalt?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Bender leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts somehow even though hes a robot) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Bender kissed me passionately. Bender climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a pile of scrap metal. He took of my top and I took of his pimp outfit. I even took of my bra. Then he put his antenna into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my silver body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE ROBOT HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…. Beelzebot, the Robot Devil!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a meatbag or a mutant! Da only reson Beelzebeot swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Beelzebot made and Bender and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of oil down my pallid face. Bender comforted me. When we went back to planet express Beelzebot took us to Profezzor Fahrnsworf and Hurmeese who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in Robot Hell!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Hurmeese.

"How dare you?" demanded Profezzor Fahrnsworf.

And then Bender shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Beelzebot and Hurmeese still looked mad but Profezzor Fahrnsworf said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to the lounge."

Bender and I went upstairs to the employee lounge while they glared at us.

"Are you okay, Cobalt?" Bender asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and my hair even though they're made of metal and shit cuz im a robot and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with blue lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Bender was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back to his apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up meatbagz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with blue skulls all over it and beatle boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses even tho i have no ears. I spray-painted my metal hair with purple.

In the planet express conference room, I ate some Bachelor Chow cereal with Amy's blood instead of milk, and a glass of beer. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the beer spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky orange hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Bender's and there was no tatoo of Bender on his ass anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy voice. He looked exactly like Billy West. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Philip J. Fry, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire robot." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Bender came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Covalt isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A ROBOTOLOGITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Bender and I held our pale silver hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red robotology sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire Fry. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Bender. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Bender. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his antenna thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Bender, Bender!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Bender's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire Fry!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Bender pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have robot AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Bender ran out even though he was naked but hes always naked anywey so it didnt matter. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was at planet express and went into the conference room where Vampire Fry was having a meeting with Profezzor Fahrnsworf and some other people.

"VAMPIRE J. FRY, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den ur a meatbag!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Bender came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Cobalt, it's not what you think!" Bender screamed sadly.

My friend K'awaii Amy Galifianakis smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her short fluffy gothic black hair and opened her pink eyes like bubblegum that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Amy was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are martian vampires and one of them is a witch but Mom killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Galifianakis and not Wong. (Since she has converted to Robotology she lives on Earth now not Mars. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Fahrnsworf demeaned angrily in his sexy old man voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire Fry, I can't believe you cheated on me with Bender!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Cobalt was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire Fry (I'm bi and so is Cobalt) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Michelle, a stupid meatbag fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a meatbag.)

"But I'm not going out with Bender anymore!" said Vampire Fry.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of planet express and into Robot Hell where I had lost my virility to Bender and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn wach all da episoods! dis is frum da movies ok so itz nut my folt if beelzybto swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson fahrnswor dosent lik fry now is coz hes a follower of oprahism and vampire fry is a robotologist! MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Bender for cheating on me. I began to cry against the pile of scrap metal where I did it with Bender.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible woman with big ass hair and a fat suit and everything started flying towards me on a partyboard! She had big hair (basically like Mom in the show) and she was wearing all black but it was obvious she wasn't gothic. It was… Mom!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Mom shouted "Sons!" and her sons grabbed me and I couldn't run away.

"Seymour asses!" I shouted at her. Vampire Fry's dead dog fossil thing came back to life and bit Mom. Mom fell of her partyboard and started to scream. I felt bad for her even though I'm a sadist so I stopped an called off seymour asses.

"Cobalt." she yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Fry!"

I thought about Vampire Fry and his sexah eyes and his ginger orange hair and how his face looks just like Billy West. I remembered that Bender had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Bender went out with Vampire Fry before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Mom!" I shouted back.

Mom gave me a photon gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" she yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Bender!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Mom got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on her face. "I hath telekinesis." she answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire Fry, then thou know what will happen to Bender!" she shouted. Then she flew away angrily on her partyboard and her sons went wif her.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Bender came into Robot Hell.

"Bender!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing silver foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Billy West and John DiMaggio.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into planet express together making out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u robosexual fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out k'awaii amy isn't a meatbag afert al n she n vampire fry r evil datz y dey movd to planet express ok!

I was really scared about Moom all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Kawaii Gothic Bots 111. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are K'awaii Amy, Vampire Fry, Bender, Kif (although we call him Diabolulz now. He has black hair now with green streaks in it.) and Zpap. Only today Bender and Vampire Fry were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Bender was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Vampire Fry was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Cobalt! Are you OK?" K'awaii Amy asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Mom came and the fucking bitch told me to fucking kill Fry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Bender. But if I don't kill Fry, then Mom, will fucking kill Bender!" I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Bender jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking mutant meatbag bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Bender started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Belzeebot walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Cobalt Bender has been found in the planet express ship. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up meatbagz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend leela 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! K'awaii Amy tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran home to my apartment crying myself. Beelzebot chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my apartment cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of oil and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with blue metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings on mai non exisntent ears. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Fahrnswor was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Zooidberg was masticating to it! They were sitting on their partyboards.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU ROMOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire Fry ran in.

"Shut up and take my money!" he yelled at Fahrnsworf and Zooidberg throwing his walet. I took my photon gun and shot Fahrnsworf and Zooidberg a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Beelzybot ran in. "Cobalt, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Fahrnsworf and Zooidberg and then he waved his hand and fire flew at them and suddenly…

Zpap ran outside on his partyboard and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Zpap? You're just a fatass DOOP captain!"

"I MAY BE A DOOP CAPTAIN…." Zpap paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A ROBOTOLOGIST!"

"This cannot be." Fahrnswor said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Beelzybot's fire had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Zooidberg held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough of Amy's blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Zooidberg said angrily while he rubbed his dirty claws on his cooat.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Zpap said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Fahrnswor asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Robot Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok zpap is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in earthikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no fahrnswor iant kristian plus zpap isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was roberto ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Bemder had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS ZPAp but it was Vampire Fry. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY ASS TATOO HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my ass tatoo turned back into benders face!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have an ass tatoo anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolulz changed it into a pizza for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my ass tatoo hurt and it turned back into benders face! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Bender…. Mofm has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in doctor Zooidbergs office now recovering from my slit wrists. Fahrnswor and Zooidberg and ZAPH were there too. They were going to the HAL's institute after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs working in a place with lots of hot gurlz. Beelzebot had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Zpap came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses dat he took from Diabolulz who was guna give dem to K'awaii Amy.

"Cboalt I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Zpap had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Cboalt." Zpap says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you mutant meatbag?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Fahrnswor and Zooidberg." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his photon gun at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "I finuds theus mostus eroticus partus ofus theus womanus isus theus boobieus! (4 all u cool goffic futurama fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for leela I love you girl!)iloveo youo leelao!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Behnder?"

Zaph rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Cbooalt," Beelzybot said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MANBOT!" Zpap yelled. bEELZybot lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Zpah stormed off back into his spaceship thingy. "U r a liar, beelzebotte!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of John DiMaggio on them. I put my hair all out around me even though it was metal so I looked like Katey Sagal (if u don't know who she iz ur a meatbag so fuk off!) and I put on cobalt-blue lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." K'awaii Amy said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the oil. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Fahrnswor and Zooidberg couldn't spy on me this time. I went to work and did some delivieries. Vampire Fry was in the planet express ship wif me. He looked all depressed because Bender had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Bender. He was sucking some blood from Cyubehrt and Dwaiyht.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Fry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Benders. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Hurmeese who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire Fry you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Bender!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY ASS TATOO HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have an ass tatoo anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolulz changed it into a pizza for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my ass tatoo hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Bender… Mofm has him bondage!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 LEELA MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY LEELA DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IZ


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

AN: leela fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of calculon but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! MEATBAGZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Vampire Fry and I ran to Robot Hell looking for Beelzebot. We were so scared.

"Beelzebot Beelzybot!" we both yelled. Beelzebot came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Mosm has Bender!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Bender!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Mom does to Bender. Not after how much he misbehaved at work especially with YOU Cobalt." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire Fry started crying. "My Bender!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik robosexzual guyz r lik so hot!)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out a photon gun and shot me den he shot himself. Then… suddenly we were inside Momcorp!

We ran in with our guns out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Walt larry igner!"  
It was….. Mom!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

**Author's Note: I want to clear a couple things up about the story right now. I know I'm the one writing it (or editing Tara Gilesbie's crappy ass fic) but I'm pretending that a robot version of Tara Gilesbie, aptly named Tara Gilesbot, is writing it instead. And I changed it so that instead of Leela helping Gilesbot edit her story, a robot version of Leela named Leela-bot is helping her okay? You'll see why I changed it once I get to my bonus chapter at the end of the entire story. Anyway, enjoy!**

AN: fuk off MEATBAGZ ok! Leela-bot fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Mocm was. It turned out that Mom wasn't there. Instead the bag head guy who watched Calculon kill himself was. Bender was there crying tears of oil. Moms sons wer torturing him. Vampire Fry and I ran in front of them.

"Rid my sight you despicable meatbags!" Walt the oldest son shouted as we started shooting him and his bros with the gun he Then suddenly the three of dem looked at me and they fell down with a lovey-dovey look in ther eyes. "Cobaltweloveyouwiluhaveanorg ywith us." they said. (in dis dey is sixteen yrs old so deys not pedofiles ok)

"Huh?" I asked.  
"Cobalt we love you will you have an orgy with us?" asked Larry. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastards." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him and his bros in the heart. Blood pored out of them like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" Igner screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he and his bros fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

"Walt Larry Igner what art thou doing?" called Mom. Then… she started coming! We could hear her high heels clacking to us. So we got on our partyboards and we flew to Planet Express. We went to the employee lounge. Vampire Fry went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Bender taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other ladybots and meatbags here except for K'awaii Amy and Laburbahruh and Leela, because they arent ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the meatbags anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Bender.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Fahrnswor and Zooidberg took a video of me naked. Zpap says he's in love with me. Vampire Fry likes me and now even moms sons are in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Bender! Why couldn't Robot Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory cboalt isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 leela-bot 4 hlpein!

"Cobalt Cobalt!" shouted Bender sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire Fry!" I shouted. I stormed back into my apartment and closed the front door with my cobalt-blue key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Bender and Vampire Fry. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the oil all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go on a delivery again.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in cobalt blue letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with cobalt blue letters. I put my cobalt blue hair out again even tho its made of metal. Anyway I went to work feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I helped Leela lode the planet Express ship with the crap we wer delivering. I got distracted and used my magic powers to amuse myself. I was turning a blue robotology symbol into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Bender!

"Cboalt I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker meatbags and mutants fink. Ur da most beautiful girlbot in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel's head was singing it) right in front of the entire planet express cru! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz headz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking meatbags stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Bender's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff's head (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Zooidberg shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in New New Jersey right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut meatbagz! leela-bot u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Leela-bot wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 Amy-bot 4 techin muh japnese!

We ran happily to New New Jersey. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Bender thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with blue ripped fishnets. Bender was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black jeans. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard's head pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Mosm and her sons and da killbots!

"Wtf Bender im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Bender promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a follower of Oprahism or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a meatbag or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Cboalt! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

K'awaii Amy was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Leela that fucking poser got firurd. she skrewed up teh newust delivury and she skepped work yesterdey." (an: LEELA-BOT U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Leela will die too." I said.

"Kawai." K'awaii Aim shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got firurd I murdered her and den zooidberg did it with her cause he's a necphilak."

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with behder tonight in New New Jersey with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

K'awaii Aimy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "K'Awaii Amy are u a MEATBAG?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Planet Express that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Behder or K'awaii's fan fan roo Diabolulz or Vampire Fry (don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Beelzybot." She sed. "Let me just get our partybors."

"OMFFG BEELZYBOT?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for New New York on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in New New Jersey. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and K'Awaii Amy asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many poser mutants ther are in this city man! Yesterday zooidberg and fahrnwor tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of blue tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said K'Awaii Amy.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's cobadlt p'latinum magnesia TARA zinc what's yours?"

"Hedonismbot." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair which he had for some reason even tho in da show hes bald. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf behder you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Zpap flew in on his black partyboard looking worried. "OMFG COBALDT U NEED OT GET BACK INTO PLANET EXPRESS NOW!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a meatbag den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a meatbag or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz lela isn't rely a prep. Leela-bot plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXX XXXXXXXXXXX

Hedonismbot gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Zpap kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Planet Express. "WTF Zpap?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Leela came. I guess she came back 2 lyfe somehow even tho K'awaii killed her. Zpap tried 2 flirt wif Leela but she put her middle finger up at him an he went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Leela's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with dark purple lace on it and a blak dark-purple miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Bender?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Vampire Fry." she anserred happily. Well anyway Bender and Vampire Fry came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Vampire Fry was wearing a black t-shirt that said '111' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Bender was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. K'awaii Amt was going 2 da concert wif Diabolulz. Diabolulz used to be called Kef but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampire frogs. They dyed in a spayship crash. Kef converted to Robotology and he went goth. He was Zpap's bff now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif green streekz in it. We kall him Diabolulz now. Well anyway we al went 2 Bender's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad stol frum Calculon and gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Bender and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking meatbags. We soon got there….I gapsed.

Gerard's head was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy meatbag lady wif big ass hair and evil eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Bender. Bender and I came. It was…. Mlom and da suns!

"U moronic idiots!" she shooted angstily. "Cboalt, I told u to kill Vampire Fry. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Bender!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but she took out her knife.

Sudenly a gothic old manbot flu in on his partyboard. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Mlom and hur suns ran away. It was…BEELZYBOT!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken meatbag! fangz 2 leela-bot 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a meatbag. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson belzeebo swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, cobalt-rlue lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and blue diamonds inside it.

(Da night before Bender and I rent back to Planet expresh. Belzeebot chased Mlom away. We flew there on our partyboards. Mine was black and the engines were cobalt-blue. There was lace all over it. Bender had a black MCR partyboard. We went back to my apartment and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went back to Planet Express for work da next day. There all da walls were painted black and da table was black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser meatbag bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to K'awaii Amy and Leela at da conference table. K'awaii was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Leela was wearing a long gothic blak dress with dark purple writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire Fry, Diabolulz and Bender came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Kef was saying as suddenly a gothic old manbot with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Mlom yesterday. He had red skin but he was wearing white foundation and he was wering a black wig.

"….BEELZEBOT?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Mosm!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave your workplace a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone who was a meatbag poser started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a meatbag he was!1.

"BTW you can call me Alastor." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our jobs.

"What a fucking meatbag!" Bender shouted angrily as we we to the planet express ship. We were holding hands. Vampire Fry looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Leela shouted.

I was so fucking angry.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken meatbag n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW covald a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 leela-bot 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Beellzebot. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the employee lounge sadly to skip work. Bender was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under even dho my hairs metal. (email me if u wana see da pik)

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. BenderD banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my bloue eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (leela-bot that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Zpap came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da bafroom?"

Only it wasn't just Zpap. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Hedonismbot or maybe Bender but it was Beelzybot.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Bender has a surprise for u."


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note: Thanks to all the guys that reviewed this, I appreciate you reviewing my crappy parody XD and to the one anonymous reviewer, yes, I will be doing the hacker chapter too. And I'm also adding my own personal touch to this god awful fanfiction at the very end, in the form of a 45th chapter, a bonus chapter that I have completely conjured up by myself. What is it going to be about? Well, you'll have to wait until the end of the story to see... anyway, enjoy the newest chapter!**

Chapter 20.

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok meatbagz!1 fangz 2 leela-bot 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in robonia 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with green lace stuff all over it, an black gothic beatle boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Moxm had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Bender so we could do it again.

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Zooidberg! "R u gonna cum rape me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Beelzybot had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Fahrnswor since he was a pedo liek pedobar.

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and silver foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…. Fahrnswokf and Zooidberg were in da middle of da apartment hallwey, doin it, and Cyubehrt and Dwaiyht were watching!1

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Cyubehrt and Dwaiyht ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking meatbags. (btw fahrnwork is a follower of oprahism now)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Zuidberg shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Fahrnswork began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Beelzybort. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw a beer bottle at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire Fry, looking extremely fucking hot.

"WTF where'd Bender?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire Fry said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his nefpew Profezzor Fahrnswor had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed CYC111 on it. The one on da back said 'CBOALT' on it.

….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire Fry and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Bender, cryin in a corner.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note: Scruffy and Nibbler appear in this chapter, but their names will be switched around. So Scruffy will be referred to as Nibbler and Nibbler will be referred to as Scruffy.**

Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich leera-bot cuz it fok u meatbagz!1 woopz soz leela-bot fangz 4 da help. btw robo-hungaria rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer the nikolai guy lived!

Later we all went 2 work. Bender was crying in da employeed lounge. "Bender are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its ok Cboalt." said Vampire Fry comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Bender. Vampire Fry came too.

"Bender please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire Fry got out his red invincibility jacket. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Nibbler there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw leela's pet alien Scrufy come. He went unda da invisibility jacket and started to bite Vampire Fry's leg loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Nibbler.

"No fuck u you preppy little meatbag sun of a fukcing bich wif yur stupid walrus stache!" Vampire Fry said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Nibbler. Den he heard Scrufy meow. "Scrufy is der any1 unda da jacket!" he asked. Scrufy nodded. And then….Vampir Fyr frenched me! He did it jus as….. Nibbler was taking of da jacket!1

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Bender crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da building.

"Bender!" I cried. "R u okay?"

"I guess though." Bender weeped. We went back to the employee lounge frenching each other. Bender and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red sofa together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Danbot and da Rowboat Mafia walked into planet express!1


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

AN: stfu! meatbagz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no da janitor is named scruffy itz leela-bot's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding leela-bot u fokieng rok meatbagz suk!1

All day everyone talked about the Rowboat Mafia. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where…. K'awaii Amy, Vampire Fry, Diabolulz, Bender, Zpap and Leela!

I opened my harlequin eyes. Leela was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of purple roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire Fry was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Bender was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee John DiMaggio, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire Fry looked like Billy West. K'awaii Amy was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a pink apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Monique wear once. Laburbahruh (who is Hurmeeses wife and Dwaiyhts momma) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Fleckso and Angoleene. It turns out that Laburbahruh, Diabolulz, Fleckso and Angoleenes dads were vampires. Dey committed suicide by slitting der wrists with a razor. They had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Rbtology.

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

"Cboalt something is really fucked up." Bender said.

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Bender said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and blue eyeshadow and silver foundation. Then I came. We all went outside Plnaet Expres and looked in from a widow. A fucking meatbag called Michelle from da twnyteith centuree was standing next to us. She was wearing a lavender mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside Planet Express we could see Beelzebort. Santa was there shouting at Beelzebot. Kwanzaboat and Chankuah Zoymbie were there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" he shouted angrily. "THIS DELIVERY COMPANY MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE EMPLOYEES!" yelled Santa.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE RULER OF ROBUT HEHLL ANY LONGER!" yelled Kwanzaboat. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR MOM WILL KILL THE GLASSES GUYS EMPLOYEES!"

"Very well." Beelzebot said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close planet express. There is only one person who is capable of killing Mom and she is in the building. And her name is….. Cbobt P'latinum Magnesia Golden Zinc."

Bender, Fleckso, Angoleene, Laburbahruh, Leela, Vampire Fry, Diabolulz, Zpap, and K'awaii Amy looked at each other…I gasped.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 leela-bot 4 da help n telin me bout da epixoods gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

The door opened and Kwanzaboat Chankuah Zoymbie and Santa stomped out angrily. Then Beelzebum and Kwanzaboat sawed us.

"MR. ZINC WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Kwanzaboat shouted angrily. Beelzebot blared at him.

"Oops he made a mistake!" he corrupted him. "He means hi everybody cum in!"

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other people. I sat between Laburbahruh and Bender and opposite K'awaii Amy. Fleckso and Angoleene started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Archduke Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire Fry! He and Bender were shooting at eachother.

"Vampire Fry, Bender WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Bender at Vampire Fry. "I want to shit next to her!1"

"No I do!" shouted.

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Bender.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire Fry. And then… he jumped on Bender! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Beelzbot yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible woman with a fat suit and big hair flew in on her partyboard. She had big hair and was wearing a turquoise suit. All the glass in the window she flew thru fell apart. Michelle that fucking meatbag started to cry. Vampire Fry and Bender stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent…. Mozm!

"Cobabt….. Cobalt…." Darth Valer sed evilly in her raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire Fry as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Bender too!"

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" she laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then she flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Bender and Vampire Fry came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Mmo coming to kill Bender while Bender slit his wrists in a depressed way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Cobalt Cobalt aure you alright?" asked Bender in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Cboalt." said Vampire Fry all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of oil went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"

"Its ok gurl." said K'awaii Amy. "Maybe u should ask Dawkter Wurnstrum about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24.

AN: meatbagz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 leela-bot fagz 4 di help!

Well we had our lunch break from work next so I got to go ask Dawkter Wurnstrum about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Dawkter Wurnstrum in Japanese. He smelled at me with his gothic black lipstick. He's da coolest fucking dawkter ever. He had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hs mom woz a vampire. He's also haf Japanese so he speaks it and everyfing. he n K'awaii my get along grate even tho Profezzor Fahrnsworf doesnt liek him) He's really young for a teacher. 2day he was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped coat. We went inside the black classroom with powstors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Cobalt?" he asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the matbag preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?" he asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Dawkter Wurnstrum said and he let every1 go. "Except for you Michelle." she pointed at Michelle and sum other meatbags. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Bender gong 2 die.

Well he gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" he asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Bender. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak pimp hat.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Dawkter Wurnstrum.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

I went to Bender and Vampire Fry was sitting next to him. We both followed Bender together and I was so exhibited.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Richurd Nicxon's hed 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da goffz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 leela bot fangz for de help!1

I was so excited. I fellowed Bender wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into the planet express ship dat Bender took from da Profezzor again.

"Cobalt what the fuck did Dawkter Wurnstrum say." whispered Bender potting his gothic silver hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"He said he would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the ship into a tree. We went to the top of it. Bender put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

"OMFG Bender Bender!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik robots with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red thundercougarfalconbird car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Cobalt what's wrong?" Bender asked me as I woke up opening my harlequin green eyes.

I started to cry and tears of oil went down my face. I told Bender to call Vampire Fry. He did it with his eyefone. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Bender's fat gay goffik cousin Brender and my dad Rodieum!111


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: I just thought I should let you know if you didn't already know, Bender's "fat gay cousin" Brender is another crappy intentionally bad OC of mine who is based off a really bad Futurama porn comic I found on rule 34 while I was bored one night. The comic featured Bender hugging Fry and trying to kiss him in the last panel, and Fry was telling Bender "Bender get your gay hands off of me" but Bender was spelled wrong so it looked like Brender instead of Bender. And someone in the comments section said "That's not Bender, that's his fat gay cousin Brender!" because whoever drew the comic drew Bender really fat... anyway yeah, enjoy the chapter and Bender's fat gay cousin c:**

Chapter 26.

AN: MEATBAGZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng preps! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

A few mutates later Vampire Fry came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire Fry." I said flirtily as I started to sob. Bender hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of oil and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire Fry shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Beelzebo."

We ran out of the tree and in2 robot hell. Beelzybot was sitting in his office.

"Sire my fat gay cousin and cobalts dads have been shot!" Bender said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Cboalt had a vision in a dreem."

Belzbeot started to cockle. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Cobalt's not divisional?"

I glared at Beelzebot.

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Beezelbot gasped (c is da toot of crakter). "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Rodieum and Brender-pornto!"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Da moohn." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Bender, Vampire Fry and I all left to our apartments together. I went with Bender to wait in the nurses office while Vampire Fry went to slit his wrists in his bathroom. We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Rodieum and Brender came in on stretchers….and Dawkter Wurnstrum was behind them!1


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u meatbagz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 leela-bot 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital lleela-bot u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Behder, Brendur, Rodieum bond Vampire Fry all came to hug me. The jellyfish nurse started to give them medicine.

"Cum on Cboalt." said Dawkter Sinatra. He was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition."

I locked at Brender, Rodeoum, Bende and Vampire Fry. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Dawkter Wurnstrum took out some black cards. He started to look into a black crucible ball. He said… "Terabyte, I see drak times are near." He said badly. He peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." He took out a time machine thing like J had in men in black 3. "When Momint was in Planet Express before she became powerful and had da thre sons wif me and Profezzor Fahrnsworf she was a lesbean an gut her hearth borken by a gurl. Now do you fink she would still become Moxm if she was in love?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce her. It is the only way. If she is still evil then you must kill her. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Bender and Vampire Fry.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Lahburbahruh, Leela and K'owii Amy?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Brender and Rodieum being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Bender. They were cheesing my name and Lendah and Moarbow the reporters were there, trying to interview Beelzybot. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking meatbagz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Nibbler the janitor looked happy. A blak and blue cake had been brought out. Fleckso and Angoleene set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls they got from Sahl.

I snorted my Invisibility coke with Vampire Fry and Bender and we sneaked outside 2gether.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen dawkar urnstrm sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG ROBUT HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 katey 4 da help!1! leelabot hav fun wif billy!1111111

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Blue vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif blue stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Behnder and Vampire Fry.

"Are you okay?" Vampir Fry asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with blue crosses on it.

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Behnder also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Moxm. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Bender started to cry sadly. Vampire Fry hugged him.

"Itz okay Cboblt." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire Fry looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Bender's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire Fry tattoo that said Cboalt on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Richurd Nicxons head. Vampire Fry took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Cboblt. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire Fry filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was…. Profezzor Fohrnsworf and Hurmeese!111


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29.

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur meatbagz so fok u!1111 leela-bot u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

"Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Profezzor Fahrnsworf and Hurmeese started to shoot at us angrily.

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher Hurmeese yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Proofezzor Fahrnsworf garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire Fry shooted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" Bender demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Beelzehore noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to da HAL instabute. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the holiday robots and Chankuah Zoymbie thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Proofezzor Fahrnsworf laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Hurmeese. He made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Bender started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard or richurd nicksons head ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz leela-bot sed so ok so fok u!1). Vampire Fry took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then….. he and Profoozor Fahrnsworf both took out guns using der imaaaaginations. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my gun.

"PINGAS!" I shouted. Profezzor Fahrnsworf stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Hurmeese did a spell so that we were all chained up. He took out a box of tools. Den he said "OK Heburt I'm going 2 go now." He left. Profezzor Fahrnswor started to laugh evilly. Vampire Fry started to cry.

"It's ok Cboalt." said Bender. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Profezzor Fahrnswork."

Profezzor Farnsworf laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a meatbag so al flamerz kan bit muh shiny metal ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 leelabot u rok bich!111

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Fahrnsworf stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Brhder!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Bender and nit a candle.

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Foohrnsworf laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

He prezzed a buttun on a romote and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vrompire Fry." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Bender!1"

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Bender looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain's head and Gerard and Richurd Nicxon. But then I looked at Vampire Fry and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik orange hair wif red streeks. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Bender and Beelzybot came and the tame where Bender almost commited suicide and Vampire Fry wuz so sportive.

Fihrnsworf laughed angrily. He started to prey to Moxm. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Bender and Vampire Fry. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Bneder and Vampire Fry so they would destruct Fahrnsworf.

"Beelzabort will get u!" Bender shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da heliday robuts and chankuah find out!11" Vampire Fry yelled. Meanwhile I took out my lazer baton.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Foohrnsworf yielded. He took off all of Binder's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him….

"Sooper saiyan!" I shited hitting him wif may baton. Foohnsworf scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Brender. I stopped doing sooper saiyan.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Fahrnworf but suddenly Brender came.

Farksworf put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Brender I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Rodeem and Dawkter Wurnstrum came in2 da room and they and Brender unlocked the chains and put dem around Fahrnsworf. Then Dawkter Wurnstrum said 'Come on Cobalt let's go."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31.

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin cobalt a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff leela bot 4 di help!1111

"I always knew u were on Mom's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." Brender said 2 Fahrnsworf.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Fahrnsworf clamed.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some perpul slurm out of my poket and gave it to Brender. He made Fahrnsworf dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Roadium took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Fahrnsworf wif his magical powers. Then Dawkter Wurnstrum and Brender made us get out wif them while Fahrnsworf told his secretes. Brender took Vampure Fry and Bender to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Dawkter Wurnstrum took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Moxm. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Amy, Lahburbahruh, and Leela came too. K'awaii Amy gave me a blak bag from Hidonesmbot's store.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Dakwter Wurnstrum.

"U will c." he said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had blue korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Leela had chosen. Leela and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and coalt-blue lipshtick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." K'awaii Amy said.

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Dawkter Wurnstrum. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." He gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then he gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Dawkter Wurnstrum said. Then she and K'awaii Amy put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Lburbahruh and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was in fornt of planet express. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth gurlz I had ever seen. She was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. She had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. She wuz wearing a blak ripped up dress wif Vans. It was…. Carol a.k.a. Moom!1111


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32.

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no she iznt uzualey caled carol but datz her reel name!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Cboalt Zinc da new employee." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif her.

"Da name's Carel." she said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam"

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed her. "Hey Satan…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in new jersey." satan whispered.

"new jersey?" I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became New New Jersey in 3000." she told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

She froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." She smiled skrtvli again. "then in 2998 dey changd it to hot topic." she moaned.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is Beelzybot da ruler of robot hell?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." she looked at her black nails. "i play poker wif him sumtimes when he cums here'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go to work here? U dont go to skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) she asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly beelzybot flew in on his patryboard and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

satan rolled her eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're goffik and we're not meatbags."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da ohwner of moxmcorp."

"wtf?" she asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in dawkter wurnstrum's classroom. beelzybum wuz dere. "beelzybot I think I just met u." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." beelzybot said, trying to be all goffik.

wurnstrum came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf cboalt what da robot hell r u doing?"

:"um." I looked at him.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting he was a teacher for a second. but hes a goff so its ok.

dawkter wurnstrum looked sad. "um I was drinking perpul slurm." he started to cry black tears of depression. beelzybum didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!" we both said and beelzybum took his hand away.

dawkter wurnstrum started crying again in his chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg cboalt…I think im addicted to perpul slurm."

AN: SEE U FOKKING MEATBAGZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Note: Guys, I just wanted to let you know that I changed my pen name from Kooples to TheAnnoyingAlien. I just wanted to say that in case anybody got confused and thought I was a different person. Anyways, enjoy the next chapter of Cobalt and Bender's adventures.**

Chapter 33.

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz leela bot 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXX XX

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 da HAL institute, bitch?"

"Hel no!" he said. "Lizzen Cgoglt, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Mom Andorson 4 sum help?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Bender was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Cboalt?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like John Dimaggio when hes talking.

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da employee lounge.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Behder asked jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

"Will you hav to do it with her?" Bender asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

"What happened 2 Prafezzor Fihrnsworf?" I growled.

"U will see." Bender giggled mistressly. He opened a door…Fahrnsworf nd Zumpberg werz there!11 Rodieum waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Zumpberg bagged as Rodieum started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Fahrnsworf bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Fahrnsworf trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Fihrnsworf's blod den Behder and I went bak 2 our apartmenz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Bnehder put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.

"Oh Bender!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Bender!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.

"I luv u TaCobart." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Note: I'm going to make a youtube parody of this when I get the time c: I'll probably start it over spring break or during summer since I'm busy with school and commissions for people. Also, I changed the name of Cobalt's father-his name is Sodium/Soidium/Sodomize now, not Rhodium/Rodieum. I'm too lazy to go back and fix it in the other chapters though, so... yeah lol it doesn't matter much. Enjoy the chapter.**

Chapter 34.

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP MEATBAGZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just meatbagz nd mutants so FUK U!111 fangz 2 leela bot 4 da help!1

I wook up in da coffin de next day. Bender waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz blu korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…. Soidium cocked on da door. I hopened it.

"Hi Cibalt." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Dawkter Winstrum's office."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Bender or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.

"So dad what the fuck happened 2 Fihrnsworf and Zooidberg?" I asked Sordium flirtily.

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r on Murz now, lol."

I laughed evilly.

"Where r Bender and Vampira Fry?" I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form woork 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

We went into da office. Dawkter Wurnstrum was there. He was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

( http/ He wuz drinking some puxpel slerm.

He took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

"Cboalt, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." he said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

And then….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in da cownfrence ruom eating Archdook Chorcula. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik oranguteng man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed…he was drinking a portent.

"Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Dawkter Slutbanjo." Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher….. Cobalt?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in New New Jersey tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35. gost of u

AN: fangz 2 leela bot 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of meatbagz!11111111 fangz 2 leela bot 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 sedium!1 fangz.

I went in2 da empley longe finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped….. Bender wuz there!111

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

"Bender what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Bender. It was his older fat gay cousin Brender!1 He was stil thin.

"Oh hi Brender!1" I sed. "Im Cobalt the new employee lol we shook handz."

"Yah Satan told me abot you." Bresder said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Soidium, Vampire Fry's dad Yahnzy dat somehow cam to da future and…Fahrnsworf! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

"ORLY." I ESKED.

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBotXTearzX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to Soidium. "Fahrnsworf plays the boss. And Yahnzy plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Brender looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she dyed. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger." Samaro said.

"Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself."

"Rilly?" asked Fahrnsworf. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

"Yeah were called Kawii Gothik Bots 111. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

"Cboplt? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Brender, Samoro, Soidium and Fahrnsworf.

"Um….ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz….. Jawn Lemnon!1 He was wering a blak sargant peppur outfit wif roses insted of daizeys and blak hippie sunglazzez.

"What da hell r u dong here Jawn Lemnon!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Cboalt." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36.

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 ps THEANNOYINGALIEN UR A MEATBAG!1 o ya nd fangz 2 leelabot 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111

I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Dawkter Wurnstrum. K'waii Amy, Socrates and Bender, Vampire Fry and Leela were their to.

"OMFG Sordium I saw u nd Samaro and Fairnsworf nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Fahrnsworf uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Soidium said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Dawkter Wurnstrum said in an emo voice dirnking some perpul slerm.

Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped K'waii Amy. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Dawkter Wurnstrum.

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Leeleh.

"Yah we need sum medicine for Dawkter Wurnstrum so he wont be adikted 2 perpul slerm anymore nd also….sum luv potion 4 Cboalt." Bonder said resultantly.

"Well we have to pick up a shipment of medicine to deliver now." Leelah said so let's go.

We went sexily to pick up da medicine. But Fahrnsworf wasn't there. Instead there was… Kwanzafuck!11111

"Hey where the fuck is Beelzybot!111" Bender shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Kwaznafuck. "He is in da HAL institute now wif Fairnworf and Zooidberg he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Fahrnsworf used to be gottik!1" Vampire Fry asked surprisedly.

"DATZ IT!11" KWANZAFUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING SANTA AND CHANKUAH ZOYMBEE!111"

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. Suddenly I saw Zpap in da cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Bender. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly…"ZAFP WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.

I looked around…. Zaff wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Bonder and Vampire Fry started 2 beat him up sexily.

"God u r such a meatbag!1" I shooted at Zafp. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was…Amnesia Portion!111


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37.

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd meatbagz stop flaming sa story!11 leela bot fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

BENDEER'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire Fry and I chaind Zpaf 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Cboalt said. She wuz so hot. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1"

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tera," said Vampire Fry. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Cboalt.

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Michelle, a fucking prep dat Vampire Fry use to go out wif.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Lelah.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Dawkter Wurnstrum's room."

Bender, Corbalt and I went to Dawkter Wurnstrum's room. But Dawkter Wurnstrum wasn't there. Instead Heodnimsbot was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '111' on da bak, black stilton bootz, cobalt blue fishnetz and a blak corset.

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.

"OK Dawkter Wurnstrum isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Bender. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Dawkter Wurnsrtum is away. He is too gottik he is in da HAL Insitoot now. Classes shal be taught by Buezlebort who is bak but he shall not be rueling robut hell 4 now. Sincerely Santuh.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly Beelzybot came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Jawn Lemnon's blak submereen tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Bender and Vampire Fry. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…Dawkter Bitchjo's efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif cobalt-blue pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz….. Dawkter Bitchjo!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.

"Oh ok u can go now." said Dawkter Bitchjo.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Soidas, Samaro and Fahrnsworf were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh she's cumming." said Soidiume. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came. She was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38.

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd meatbagz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

Satan and I walked 2 her car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 111 just lik da planet express ship. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Robotology (lolz she wuz named after Robo Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Moxm agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi gurlz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi gurl)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." I said in a flirty voice. "….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 perpul slerm?"

"Well…" she thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod."

Suddenly Molxm parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from her poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in her blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif blue pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid shed notizd. "Cboalt gess what?"

I new that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." She said. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. she tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of her shit. She had a six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a meatbag.

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood.

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Mold asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.

"Siriusly?" she gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Bender and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason's head wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlins hed on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. She was so shmexay!1 She looked at me all emo with her gothic red eyes and she looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Masons head stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant…..XBotXTearzX!11" he said. I ran onstage. Brender, Samaro, Fahrnsworf and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy and also Richurd Nicxon. Everyone clappd. Satan got aroused. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Brender started playing da song wrong by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.

"You fuking ashhole!1" Yahnzy shouted angrily.

"U guys are such meatbagz!11" Fahrnsworf said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Soidium.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Brender but it wuz 2 late Yahnzy tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den…I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39. I Am A Genious, lol

Disclaimer: I do not own Futurama and I am not the real XXXoilyrists111XXX.

AN/ I am an extremely pathetic Futurama fangirl, I know. I wanted to end this horrible fic, so I crack this girl's passy (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble for hacking. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now even if it is to end this awful fic. Meh.

And I present to you MY ending to this crappy story. Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "meatbags."

I, the American retail wearing Earthican robot vampire Sue, coughed up oil.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave her a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue bot."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Cobalt."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

K'awaii Amy **Galifianakis** suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Cobalt's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Beelzebot, Hurmeese, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Cobalt. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue bot became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the Futurama characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Farnsworth and Mom started arguing. On the left side of the two, a battle between the Planet Express crew and Mom's sons and killbots was reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Bender and Amy fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile...

Down in Robot Hell, Cobalt shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale silver body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Cobalt realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Cobalt suppressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes that were meatbagish to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Cobalt hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Cobalt frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Cobalt tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Cobalt bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Cobalt slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod." as the Robot Devil/Beelzebot began torturing her with a song about goffik people being evil. In the end everyone lived happily ever after (except for Cobalt)

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

AN: stfu meatbagz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da meatbagz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 111!111

I woke up in dawkter zooidberg's offace on a special gothik coffin. Zpap wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir Fry and Bender had bet him up. Nibbler was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Molm came. She loked less mean then usual.

"Get the fuk out u fucking bitch!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire Fry yet!11" she said arngrily. Sudenly she started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Moxm? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Brender, Dawkter Wurnstrum and Soidium came! K'waii Amy and Vampire Fry were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. MOLM DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Cboalt ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire Fry. I hugged him and K'waii Amy.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Cboalt u were almost shot!11" said Soidium. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" said Brender holding oot his arm. I gasped. He was thin instead of fat liek ushual!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampir Fryz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Fahrnsworf wuz pozzesd by Fahrnsworf bak den." said Yahnzy who wuz somehow in da future.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Soidium said sadly. "He wuz really working for Mom."

"And he wuz such a fuking meatbag 2!11" said Brender. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif blu 111s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Niblerh looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Bender?" I asked gothikally.

"No Bender told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Dawkter Wurnstrum. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway dawkter zooidberg said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Brender, Soidium and Dawkter Wurnstrum left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif K'waii Amy, Lelah and Vampire Fry.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Lelah.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Bender!1" giggled Vampire Fry.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 111!11" said Amy. We opened da condom room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Bender wuz there doing it wif Fahrnsworf!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 111 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking meatbag!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire Fry angrily as he took out his blak photon gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Bender sadly as he took his thingie out of Fahrnworf.

"No shit u fuking suk u meatbag bastard!111" said Leelah trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"Cboalt no!11111" screamed Bender but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

Sincerely,

TheAnnoyingAlien :P

A.K.A. Just a trolling hacker who wanted to end this god awful fanfiction


	40. Chapter 40

**Author's Note: Just letting you know, this chapter is exactly the same as the last one.**

Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken my account over!

TheAnnoyingAlien's Note: Well... this was in Terabyte Gilesbot's doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Terabyte wanted to show you... Have a nice day!

AN: stfu meatbagz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da meatbagz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 111!111

I woke up in dawkter zooidberg's offace on a special gothik coffin. Zpap wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir Fry and Bender had bet him up. Nibbler was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Molm came. She loked less mean then usual.

"Get the fuk out u fucking bitch!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire Fry yet!11" she said arngrily. Sudenly she started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Moxm? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Brender, Dawkter Wurnstrum and Soidium came! K'waii Amy and Vampire Fry were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. MOLM DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Cboalt ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire Fry. I hugged him and K'waii Amy.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Cboalt u were almost shot!11" said Soidium. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" said Brender holding oot his arm. I gasped. He was thin instead of fat liek ushual!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampir Fryz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Fahrnsworf wuz pozzesd by Fahrnsworf bak den." said Yahnzy who wuz somehow in da future.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Soidium said sadly. "He wuz really working for Mom."

"And he wuz such a fuking meatbag 2!11" said Brender. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif blu 111s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Niblerh looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Bender?" I asked gothikally.

"No Bender told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Dawkter Wurnstrum. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway dawkter zooidberg said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Brender, Soidium and Dawkter Wurnstrum left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif K'waii Amy, Lelah and Vampire Fry.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Lelah.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Bender!1" giggled Vampire Fry.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 111!11" said Amy. We opened da condom room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Bender wuz there doing it wif Fahrnsworf!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 111 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking meatbag!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire Fry angrily as he took out his blak photon gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Bender sadly as he took his thingie out of Fahrnworf.

"No shit u fuking suk u meatbag bastard!111" said Leelah trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"Cboalt no!11111" screamed Bender but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

TheAnnoyingAlien's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst Futurama fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...


	41. Chapter 41

**Author's Note: Okay so I made a cover for the story lol... it's a crappy MS Paint drawing because this fic is crappy and not deserving of a good cover made in Photoshop. That and I was too lazy to draw a Photoshop cover lol... also I decided to replace Brender, Bender's fat gay cousin I made up, with Bender's son Ben (and Ben somehow exists in the past before his dad was even born but this fanfiction is already illogical so it doesn't matter hahaha) so eventually I'll go back in the fic and replace Brender with Ben/Been. A****nyways, here's the next chapter and I hope you like the cover I made c: **

Chapter 41.

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al meatbagz and mutants!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new episoods kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG bhender iz so hot in all da trailerz 4 da new episoods!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol bhender shud steel his hed in a jar. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 leela bot u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBotXTeazX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz dawkter zooidberg's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually morm 4 photo refrenss!). Morm wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. She looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11

"OMFG Cboalt r u ok." She asked gothikally.

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Yahnzy's gun. I also rememberd cing Bhender doing it wif Fahrnsworf!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim submereen.

"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as she smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over her face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Fries dad is doing."

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! Yahnzy almust shot Been!" I said indigoally. I knew that Yahnzy had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's ok." I said because Yahzny hadn't really shot Been. Also I noo that Been wood now have his memoreez back. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi gurl!11 She had bleached white hair wiv blak spots on it like a buggalo up 2 her ears and she wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. She walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on her face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." She sed all qwietly and goffically.

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno her.

"Dis is…Betzy!11" Sed Molm. "She used to be in XBotXTearzX 2 but she had 2 dropp out koz she broke her arm.

"Hey Betzy." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

"Lol hi Cboalt." She answered but then she ran away bcos she had 2 go 2 work. She was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under her breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Betzy. She used 2 b my gurlfreind but we broke up." Satan said sadly, luking at her blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!).

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Betzy. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da plenet expres confrence rom. "Cum on u guys."

Been, Yahnzy, Soidium and Fahrnswok were all in da confrence rom. Been woudnt talk wiv Yahnzy because he had tried 2 shoot him.

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Bender is never gong 2 b frends with vampire fry now!1"

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Fahrnsworf agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt Yahnzy had almost shot Been.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Mold good wivout doing it with her! Now Vampire Fry's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Betzy, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.

"Kool." said Soidium as Molm and Betzy started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Soidium, Fahrnsworf and Been all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Fahrnsworf was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Moim! Moim!" screamed Betzy as her glock touched Mold's.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Beelzybot and Nibbler da janiter!111111111111


	42. Chapter 42

**Author's Note: One last edit I'm making to this, Kif's goffik name is no longer Diabolulz. Now his name is Keewee like a kiwi fruit. I thought it would make more sense than Diabolulz since that name didn't fit him. And you know, Kif's green, kiwis are green... lol anyway enjoy the chapter...**

Chapter 42. da blak parade

AN: omg da new episoods r kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat fahrnsworf will be really the same person as Molm koz dey are both old so dat will explain y she hates hem!1111 nd den fry wil have 2 kommit suicide so molt will die koz he has 2 save da erth!111 omg I hope bender nd fry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it? If dey don't den mat grenoig and daved ex cohan r hamophobic!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, leela bot u rok!111

I sat depressedly in Beelzebork's office wiv Betzy, Satan, Yahnzy, Soidium, Fahrnsworf and Been. Beelzebot was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future and he had hair and a mustache. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty 1 durection song.

"What da robot hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Kobalt, u jerk." Satan said.

"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Betzy back together." Soidium said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Robotologists." Beelzebot cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to da Hal insitoot! That will teach u to copolate in da conference room." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a jostin beeder song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Beelzybot didn't notece.

"You fucking meatbag." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of GC." Yahnzy said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Jawn Lemnon's submereen tim machine!11

"Shut up Yohnzy!" Bender's son shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Fahrnsworf said preppily.

"No u shut up Beelzybot!1111" said Hedoinsbot.

"I've had enough of u Robotologists around here!" shouted Beelzebot spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Satan.

"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Beelzebot wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Planet expresh confrence room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with cobalt blu fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with blu pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Robotologist sins and my cobalt hair was all around me to my shoulders.

"Hey kool where iz dis?" she asked in an emo voice.

"Dis is da future. Beelzebot's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a submereen tim machine." I told her.

"Kool what's an ipatch?" she whimpered.

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" she esked in her sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon." She triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Been wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 him why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." said Leela. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and purpel stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, purpel eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Keewee with his black and gren hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Kobalt?" K'awaii Amy questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a pink pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, pink letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" she asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to her.

"Ok." She said ressuredly. I let her lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Keewee a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Dawkter Wurnstrum ran in!1111 He was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. He was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Bender!111 How did Fahrnsworf get back here! I tohot he wuz in da Hal insitute." I asked sadly.

"Cobalt I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Fahrnsworf came back because that girl Michelle freed him. I never liked her she was a bitch." Wurnstrum said reassuredly.

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Zpap and Zooidburg?" I shouted angrily. I hated Michelle because she was a fucking meatbag.

"Yes they are on the loose in planet expresh. Beelzybot is back Kwanzaboat Chankuah Zoymbie and Santa are on der way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their confrence room!" Wurnstrum said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Bemder? How cum he was doing it with Fahrnsworf?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so she couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Terabyte!11" everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da hangar while da people around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Michelle laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty lavender shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and lavender stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Moom will like totally kill u!" she laughed.

"Simone Asses!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my middle finger and she started screaming koz she was being attacked by fries dog seymoar asses and I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Michelle screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Fahrnsworf and Zumpburg had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Moim doing it with Betzy onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da hangar I saw Vampire Fry. "OMG Vampira!111" I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky orange hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire Fry.

"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Molm from when she was yung with me."

"Where's Bender?" I asked spuriously.

"Bender? You mean that fukking meatbag who betroyed you?" Vampir Fri snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I'll do it den." Fry said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da momcorp logo appeared.

"Oh my fucking satan!" Fry shouted.

"I fink Moim has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Bender!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vampire Fry sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the hanger.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43.

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111

I walked sexily into the conference room. It was empty except for one person. Bender was there! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 111 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Fahrnsworf but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like John DiMaggio with his red eyes and his pale white face.

"Bender are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Bender why did you do it with that fucking bastard Fahrnsworf?" I asked teardully.

"I-" Bender began to say but suddenly Zoidburg and Nibbler the janitor appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.

"Im so glad we me and Fahrnsworf were freed." said Zoodburg.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking delivury crew!" Nibbler the janitor argreed.

"Not so fest!111" I yielded angrily pointing my middle finger at them.

"Noooooooo!1" Zodburg shouted as chains came on him. Nibbler the janitor ran away.

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now u have 2 tell us where Mold is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"

"I don't now where he is!1111" said Zoodburg. Suddenly Satan and Vampire Fry ran in2 da room. Vampire Fry didn't know who Satan was really.

"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire Fry said. I looked sexily at Bender with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 111 on it and pale skin like Jehn DiMaggio, Vampir Frie with his sexy orange hair and red eyes just like Billy West and Satan who looked jist like Tress MacNeille then.

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Beender sexily. Zoodburg gasped. Bender began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his sex-pack. Then Vampire Fry took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. "Oh mi satan! Bender!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Fry. I began making out wiv Satan and she joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire Fry. "Oh Vampire Fry! Vampire Fry!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Fry in pleasore. Zoodburg watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torturing on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly…..

….a big blak planet express ship that said 111 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Fahrnsworf wuz in it!11


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44.

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da knew movie!1 richurd nicxons hed is so hot lol i hop bender wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis show!1111 omfg im leeving dubai pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

"Dat's da ship!" shooted Bender angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da ship. It wuz…. Fahrnsworf!

"I shall free you Zoodburg but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." he said cruelly from the ship as it flew circumamcizing above us. "Cobalt P'latinum Magnesia Golden Zinc must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!"

"You fucking meatbag!" yelled Bender. Then he loked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Cobalt. Fahrnsworf made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!"

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!1 But Satan didn't change. Instead she changed into an old lady with huge hair, a fat suit and wrinkly skin. She had changed into… Mold!111

"I knew who thou were all along." she cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in da room.

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire Fry. Suddenly Leelah, K'awaii Amy, Diabolo, Lehberbahruh, Hednoimsbot, Cyubehrt and Dwaiyht, Zaph, Hurmeese, Beelzybot, Soidium and Been all ran in.

"What is da meaning of dis?" Beelzybot asked all angrily and Moim lookd away (bcos beelzybot is da only porson she is scared of.) He snaped his fingerz and suddenly his partybord came to him sexily. Moxm flew above the roof evilly on her partybord.

"Oh my goth!" Wurnstrum gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to her!" Fahrnsworf ejaculated menacingly.

"You fucking meatbag fags!" Soidium shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, SCRUFFY!" screamed Vampire Fry but scruffy only hit the planet express ship. It fell down Fahrnsworf quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Bhender and the video of Satan doing it with

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in knew knew york. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton." He laughed meanly.

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Zoodburg!11"

"Whats she talking abott?" Zodburg slurped as he sat in chains.

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Fry shouted angrily.

"Shut up!111'" Zumburg roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Mom from her partyboard. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again you fucking meatbag mutant!1" Fry yelled and then he and Diablo and Zaph both took out blak guns! But Mold took out her own one.

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.

"I got Zaphs gon!11" cried Mold nd suddenly Zpap's gon was in her hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Cvoalt u will die!11111"

She maid lighting come all over da place.

"Save us Cobalt!" Beelzebark cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the confrence room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Bender but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted.

THE END

**Author's Note: I may or may not decide to add my bonus chapter. It's still in the works at this point, but if I do get around to finishing it I'll probably post it. Anyways, hope you enjoyed my crappy Futurama themed rendition of My Immortal c:**


End file.
